“I think this is really the best thing for you right now mom” Amy had said to me. “I just don’t know it’s a lot of responsibility and I don’t know if I’m up for it right now.” I told her. “It’s been a year mom and we don’t like seeing you so alone. You need something to take your mind off of Dad. We love you and miss him, but you’re still here and we want you here for a long time.” Roxanne said to me. That was it I we went and got a dog, and as it turns out was the best thing in the world for my loneliness. His name was Red and he was 2 years old at the time I got him. He was a golden retriever and he was a great dog. Friendly, playful, and most of all loyal to me; we went everywhere we could together. We went to the beach and to the parks, my daughters were right it was the perfect thing for me to take my mind off of my husband. One night I was over my neighbors’ house having dinner and their son and his girlfriend came home from a party. They were both were a little. The towel broke my concentration and I quickly looked up to see him glaring at me. I turned suddenly back to my locker and began sweating, both figuratively and literally.As much as I tried, I never was very good at hiding my appreciation of buff guys. Even in the showers, I always had to take peeks and look often. I knew rationally that this was not the safest of behavior in a gym with more straight guys than gay. However, muscle was my weakness. I couldn't help myself. And now I had done it -- gotten caught staring at the Forbidden Fruit.If only he was a fruit. Unfortunately, I knew for certain he was straight. Besides having impeccable gaydar, I had seen him a couple times before with different girls in the embrace of his big, beautiful arms. He was a straight boy, no doubt.As he started to dress just a few lockers down from me, I nervously began to undress, still sitting on the wooden bench. It had been a long time since I was beaten up in high school by the football players.
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